


Talking to the Moon

by FakeMeOut



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt No Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Skephalo, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, bads trying his fucking best ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 06:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28467135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakeMeOut/pseuds/FakeMeOut
Summary: He just needs to let these feelings out before he explodes.
Relationships: Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch
Comments: 12
Kudos: 109





	Talking to the Moon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [M0N5T3RF4N](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M0N5T3RF4N/gifts).



> !!! QUICK TW // brief dissociation/derealization ahead !!!  
> heya! second fic moment fo da skephalo enjoyers >:)))
> 
> Title based off of Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars

Why was it always like this.  
Why did his brain always shut off.  
Was it to protect himself?

Often Zak's brain would fade out of reality at times, taking him away from the situation at hand and seemingly transporting him to a different plain of existence. One solemn and peaceful, free of worries or thoughts. Just floating in an endless void of solitude.

Of course, this was only in his mind. In reality, his body was sat beside his best friend.

It was only the two of them, accompanied by the stars.

Though neither Darryl nor Zak had checked their phones, they were sure it had to be around 2, maybe 3am. Judging by the quiet of the air around them, condensed silence that seemed to influence their own noise level, discouraging them from shuffling around too much or talking so as not to disrupt the peace.

Soon, Zak was snapped out of his trance-like state. Though, he was staring in the direction of the stars, he hadn't been processing it. Nothing registered in his brain until now. His sights were enveloped in the pool of black above them. The sky was speckled with a myriad of dots, shimmering above them.

It was gorgeous, but it couldn't seem to hold Zak's attention for more than a few seconds at a time.

His stomach was in knots, twisting and turning around itself in a swirl of emotional agony. And his head was no better, swimming in similar anxiety. It felt as if his head was filled with smoke, nothing was concise and it made his eyes water. There was a brick heavy in his chest, causing his slow breathing to be inconsistent and off his normal pace. Everything was wrong.

Darryl was none the wiser of his friends symptoms. He'd been adoring the sky, enjoying the breeze on his skin and being the complete opposite of his counterpart. He was in the moment, present.

"This is really nice." Darryl mumbled to Zak, sitting with his knees tucked to his chest.

You have no fucking clue.

"Yeah." Zak was still slowly trying to figure out just how to hold himself at the moment, clearing his throat. He'd figured a short answer would be a bit of a cause for concern and decided to speak up. "Thanks for taking me here, I haven't done this since I was a kid. You really do forget how nice it can be."

Darryl nodded, smiling and laying down against their blanket. Zak followed suit, both of them laying opposite ways, the tops of their heads touching. "I totally get that, I've been wanting to do this for so long, I'm just so glad it can be with you."

Goddammit.

That sentence alone could've killed him. Had they been an item, it would've been endearing and sweet. But with their current relationship of being 'just friends', Zak could've sworn he did these things on purpose. Made things romantic on purpose to taunt him. Not having any care for Zak's own feelings. Though, that wasn't the reality of the situation at all, his mind was just sabotaging his thoughts as per usual.

The silence was dubious.

He hadn't acknowledged the last thing that was said, letting the deafening tranquility seep into his every pore.

This stupid park was not the place he wanted to feel like this; frustrated and powerless while the love of his life laid oblivious. It wasn't fair, it never was when they hung out. Zak knew it wasn't Darryl's fault, but it still didn't cushion the blow any less.

Once again, hoisting him out of his thoughts was the other man. This time, it was different. Rather than the sound of shuffling bringing his conscious back to life, it was instead a traveling hand. A hand that would make its way to his own, intertwining both of their fingers. It was a sweet gesture that left a sour feeling in Zak's head. He wanted to cry.

Zak squeezed Darryl's hand as he felt his eyelids tremble, clutching shut. A salty stream ran down his eye, sliding down the side of his head.

Why did Darryl do this to him? Why was he so needy? Did he secretly know how much it hurt Zak?

There were a plethora of unrelentingly violent thoughts that crossed his mind, each one more unkind than the last. The thoughts of course were accompanied by a few more tears, the pit in his stomach seemingly finding a way to dig deeper, making everything feel exponentially worse. He just wanted these feelings to leave, he had to do something.

Unbeknownst to Darryl, Zak was on the verge of full-on crying. Zak's breath was regulated as to not alert the other, not wanting to ruin the experience for both of them. That's what he told himself, at least.

"I love you, Darryl."

The words that were dealt out by Zak had only ended up hurt himself, practically striking lightning into his own heart. A pain swelling in his face as his cheeks burned. He knew he shouldn't have said that. Not with the emotion he conveyed it in. Not with the heavy feeling attached to it.

Smiling, Darryl rubbed his thumb over Zak's knuckle, a gesture of comfort that was really no comfort to the other at all. "I love you too, Zak!" 

No.

Zak deflated, biting his lip and beginning to break. He let out a few choked out breaths, tears multiplying by this point. He tried his damnedest to stifle his sniffling, but his body went weak and limp, his hold on Darryl's hand softening, almost letting go. Instead, he threw his free arm over his eyes, tears soaking into the plush fabric of his pale blue hoodie. "You don't mean that." Zak choked out, starting to sob quietly.

Darryl sat up quickly, clearly alarmed. "Skeppy?" That voice. It was soothing. He wasn't yelling, his tone was quiet and supporting, confused as to why the mood seemed to have shifted. He hadn't done anything wrong, had he? "No, no, I do! I do mean that, I do love you, Skeppy! You're my best friend an-" His words weren't helping.

"That's the issue, Bad!"

It was quiet once again, the sound of Zak's muffled cries were the only thing to meet the older's ears. Darryl was at a loss for words, he felt terrible that he couldn't understand what was happening. Everything was happening so fast to him, though for Zak it was quite the opposite. "What's... What's wrong? You can tell me, Skeppy, I'm listening."

"You're so stupid!" Zak spat out, throwing his other arm over his face, cries even more muffled as he laid under the stars. Darryl acted quickly, not taking his words to heart. He knew that Zak didn't mean it, he was just in a bad spot. He shifted in place, grabbing the younger and pulling him onto his lap. Darryl positioned Zak in a way where he could lay against his chest and cry into his shoulder if needed. Zak complied and did just that, his arms were thrown over Darryl, sobbing into the fabric of his black shirt.

Rubbing small circles into Zak's back, he waited for him to speak if he needed, this was his time.

A few moments passed before Zak slowly regained a grip onto himself, his words could most likely be conveyed and understood at this point, rather than just being a babbling mess. "You don't understand. You never will." Zak mumbled through his irregular, harsh breathing pattern. Continuing to sob lightly, a few coughs escaping every now and then.

"Help me understand then, Zak."

And just like that, Zak's grip got tighter against Darryl, he squeezed the older in his arms, shaking his head. "You're stupid. You're so dumb..." Darryl was slowly understanding, though in denial. There's no way he meant more than friends, right? Sure they'd have bits where they pretended to be married, but there's no way it had a DEEPER meaning to it. Right? It was all fun and games. What changed?

"Darryl, I LOVE you. I'm IN LOVE with YOU. And I'm TIRED of feeling this way. My body hurts, it ACHES when I'm with you. I forget how to breathe when you're around me and it's painful. Are you serious??? Do you think I'm joking? Why don't you see that???" Zak monologue'd a bit, though it was more of a ramble than anything. He removed his filter, letting everything spill out and by the end of it, he returned back to a sobbing mess. He started rambling again but it was rendered incoherent once again through his shuddering breaths and harsh blubbering of noises flying out of him.

The older could do nothing. He just sat there. Holding his friend in his lap while he spilt his guts out to him. This must've been hard for him to say. He was glad that Zak could get vulnerable with him, truly! He just didn't know what to do, he'd never been in a situation like this before. "I'm so sorry, Zak." It was the only sentence his brain could agree on saying. Hugging the younger into a pitiful embrace, it frustrated Zak.

The two sat there. Darryl's eyes tearing up. Quickly wiping away the tears that would form at the edges of his eyes. This wasn't about him. He had to care for Zak, he couldn't get distracted by his own guilt. "I'm so sorry." He kept repeating into the younger's ear, sniffling a bit. He just wanted his friend to be alright, it was clear that things would be off for a bit. These emotions were somehow hurting Darryl, and they weren't even his own. "I wish I could reciprocate your feelings, Zak. I don't wanna hurt you. I wish I could love you in the same way."

The words that were meant to soothe the younger only pierced daggers into his heart. He didn't want to hear anymore. He just wanted to sleep. He knew this would happen, he knew it was one sided, he didn't wanna lose his best friend over these emotions. He felt so fucking stupid.

Around 4:30am, Zak was asleep. He tired himself out. There was so much he'd been holding in and he'd practically just vomited it out.

He didn't wanna remember this tomorrow, he just wanted to be happy.

Darryl wouldn't let himself sleep, he didn't feel deserving of it. He'd instead stay staring at the sky, ensure Zak could sleep easy now. "You did so much today. Sleep well, okay?" He knew he couldn't hear him, but still, rubbed his back again, sighing and staring out into the abyss before him. "You did well. I love you. Even if it's in a different way, I'll always love you."

"You mean so much to me, Zak."

**Author's Note:**

> how we feelin? is there a pairing you guys would wanna see? :v i wanna write more but brian takes a while to do it hehe, hope u enjoyed!! :3


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